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January 19, 2006
When Do You Stop Being a “Teen Mother”?
Lauren at Feministe is blogging for choice.
Because my last crappy semester left this responsibility to his father, I took Ethan to his piano lessons for the first time tonight. He’s in the next room practicing right now, thrilled that he’s finally moving past the basic basics and beginning to get to the recognizable basics. He plays with the keys like I did when I was his age, making up songs, turning the exercises into peppy songs with jazz and blues beats. The kid loves music almost as much as his mom does, and this soothes me. I have a kid I not only love but like, one that shares at least one major interest with me.
When he was a little baby, fresh home from the hospital, I’d often load him into the car and take long drives, listening to music and weaving through the country roads. I chose the quietest music in my selection, some Cowboy Junkies, some Elliott Smith, some Jeff Buckley, and off we’d go. It was a miserable time for me, so I’d cry as we traveled the straight Indiana roads, knowing he’d be lulled to sleep by the vibrations of the moving car.
Part of what made the time so miserable was the painful transition I was making from child to adult, or at the very least from childhood responsibilities to adult responsibilities. The other part was the unfair judgement placed on me by family, peers, and outsiders. I dealt with some nasty commentary as I moved about my world sick and pregnant, one woman even remarking to a friend within earshot at a coffee shop that people like me were the reason she hated welfare. The most painful things came after E was born when everyone’s expectations of me were significantly lowered. I still had shreds of hope for myself — I knew I was smart and that I could be successful, maybe, if I had the help I needed to make the most of my chances.
Read the full post at Feministe.
Posted by at January 19, 2006 10:04 AM
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Comments
This so ties in my point in the previuos post. It is time we get past stupid vitriolics and evil preconceived paradigms perpetrated by demigods, and start to give full support to "teen mother". If she were my daughter, I would feel utter shame ay her circumstance. As a society we should feel the same. I offer myself here as someone who is willing to support her in any way I can. It is not and idle comment.
Posted by: robert at January 20, 2006 3:51 AM
Sorry, i believe I made an misleading comment here.
If you were my daughter, I would feel utter shame regarding MYSELF, if I ,as a father, did not try to provide a "safe harbour" for you in your difficult period of your life. I write this in the hope Lauren is reading here, as well as other blogs.
I find it so disheartening that society finds it so much easier to condemn someone rather than find it in themselves to support and understand, as if anyone has the high ground to do so. {condemn, that is}
I have been posting for quite a while, and the vast mass of readings I have seen have been about mostly rantings about this or that, regarding legalistic and religious beliefs the blogger is promoting as their personal agenda. The vast majority of the proponents of the religious right have been male mysogenists whose sole purpose was to humiliate women here. That they failed is not surprising. What we continued to fail was to center our energies on the personal miseries such as a woman as Lauren has had to endure.
I laud NARAL for flushing out the effluent that permiated this blog in the past.We now must take into cosideration the plight of lauren {I would like to help her in any way I can} and reinvigorate our efforts to see to it that our society as "Free and rich" that it is, does not see her plight to continue.
It us such a goddamn crime that this self-promoting society continues to turn a blind eye to those in most need that we are more than capable of providing support. It is not a question of resources, it is a question of resolve, and the will to DEMAND our rights be addressed.
Posted by: robert at January 21, 2006 4:25 AM